gettinfit2

I am writing to see if I can get some ideas on beating this depression and starting to get myself back on the right track so I don’t undo everything I worked so hard to lose ! I am very depressed over the loss of my job and feeling like a failure ! Then the stress of the house not selling and having to take it off the market so we have to stay and not move ,which means hubby had to quit his job and come back and is now looking for a job again ! I know this sounds like all excuses but it has really knocked me for a loop ! I have the intentions to exercise but the depression makes me want to stay in bed, do nothing at all ! I know a positive attitude is necessary but I just can’t find it lately! I just need know that there is some good still left out there cuz I seem to have found all the darn negative ! Thank you all in advance for listening to my ramblings ! Kimmi

Okay, so here it goes ! I know most of you know me and for those of you who don’t that’s okay too ! I have been an emotional mess not honoring my sister-in-law that died a month ago totally consumed by selling this house(or the lack there of!), my husband being in another state, working my job and everything else that seems to be crashing in around me ! The positive thing that has held me together a bit lately is my faith ! I really am rediscovering that lately ! My emotions are all over the place right now and my eating patterns show it ! I have not been eating so good ! I eat when I feel sad and need to find something else that makes me feel better ! I know I need to exercise and feel better that way too and i was doing that until it seemed everything was falling apart at the seams and I just didn’t have time to do it ! Working is another thing that makes me fat ! I have an issue with a young lady that everything I do is never good enough and she is always saying negative things to me and it makes me feel bad ! When she wasn’t there yesterday when I worked everything went so smoothly ! She totally isolates me from some of the other coworkers sometimes and it makes those insecure feelings in me come right out ! I know I shouldn’t let her get to me but , she really knows the emotional side of me and wants me to quit ! I totally need some support here I feel so all alone and wish I knew what to do right now ! Well I guess I am done venting , thanks to all of you that read this !

I was doing really good all week until last night and some of today (not all day) . I just started losing my grip on it and need some motivation to keep me on track ! I have actually gone down three pounds this week and I don’t want to blow it ! I have also exercised everyday except today I was cleaning so I was moving not plain out exercise though ! I have set in place some people at the office that know I am trying to lose the weight and are encouraging me but there are those items in our office like cakes, cookies , and candies that are there I told them No all week until today I ate some fried chicken ,fries, and a biscuit ! I did eat the smaller piece of chicken but ate the fries and biscuit , shame on me ! I ate some of the other piece of chicken and made sure I shared it as much as possible so, I shared it with my two daughters and my three dogs so I ate bad but delegated it a little at the end ! So please help me get a grip ! Kimmi

I have gained some weight since I started my job and hubby left for Arkansas and of course my sister in law’s death ! All of these are excuses and I am going to try to correct this situation before I totally undo everything that I had worked so hard for ! It came to me yesterday and with a full force that I don’t know what tomorrow brings so I need to change things and be everything I know I should be ! I will need some extra support right now cuz I know that weak me likes to sneak back and I really need to tell her she is no longer welcome ! I really need to get busy and change things today ! So , Thank you for listening and enjoy your day ! Hugs, Kimmi

I have got to tell you all about something that happened this week ! As many of you know I have had an ongoing challenge with my brother in law who likes to call me fat, well I had to be bigger than that this week when his precious , sweet wife died on Sunday . She was the kind of person that you would want as a sister in law . She held my hand when I was in labor with my first child cuz my hubby was too tired and had to take a break . She came to chemotherapy with me when I went through cancer , she also made sure that everything was taken care of when I had a surgery that went terribly wrong ! She even told me stories about holding a gentlemen’s hand as he passed on to a better place because she said it was wrong for him to be alone at that time(she was a nurse). There were so many good things I could tell you about her , and the sad part is that she passed away at the age of 40 ! I am coming to grips with everything and my diet has been out of the window all this week , but She did teach me something in her passing is that everyday is a gift and the time we get to spend together is precious ! Never take anybody for granted , and remember to tell people “Thank you ” and really how much they mean to you ! She also taught me that sometimes the things you think you should be angry with a person for really seems insignificant in the end ! Always remember to kind and gentle because you never know when it may be the last words you say to someone ! As painful as it was to let her go , God knows best and made it so she didn’t have to suffer ! Sometimes when tragedy strikes you can see some sunshine peeking through those clouds ! so never give up is the message I am giving to you ! Thanks Chris, I will never forget you ! Kimmi

I thought I would post today just to try to attempt to get myself back on track ! I have been struggling to keep my head above water since my hubby left for his job in Arkansas a month ago ! I have had to deal with trying to sell my house, three dogs, three kids, a cat , and a job on top of all that ! I have not been exercising or eating correctly either ! I need some extra support right now ! I am eating cuz I feel like I have nowhere else to turn to for comfort anymore and I feel like I am going to fall apart soon ! The pressure of trying to sell this house alone is killing me ! I just feel so alone that I don’t know exactly where I am going to find the strength to get through all this ! I am ASHAMED that I am doing this again to comfort myself ! I don’t want to go back to where I was and I certainly don’t want to keep doing this either ! SOMEONE, PLEASE HELP !  Kimmi

Today I am writing with a mix of emotions. I am happy that I am starting my new job tomorrow, mad at myself for still not getting back in this weight loss game the way I should, scared of failure from both work and life ! I am feeling weak in the fact I know what I need to do but, I just can’t seem to follow through and feel like I am letting down all my teammates down . Then not knowing what’s going to happen when I get to Arkansas , am I going to fit in , will I find a new job when I get there ! All these things keep running through my mind and seem to be hindering my weight loss ! I feel a little better getting that out in the open ! So, I need to focus on going from 149 back down to 143 and lower ! I haven’t reached my goal of 125 yet and right now feel like it might be unobtainable ! I know it is but, right now I am full of doubt ! i just need to renew my hope somehow ! Sorry such a sad, yucky, blog ! Kimmi

I haven’t posted a blog in quite a while ! There is so much to tell you all ! I finally found my courage to grab myself up by the bootstraps and get moving again ! Maybe it was the number 149lbs. that really shocked me back into reality or maybe I should say it angered me into getting my butt moving ! I walked 3 miles with one dog and walked my subdivision with my puppy and need to walk the other dog too maybe after dinner ! Now on to the other updates ! My hubby got the job in Arkansas so we will be moving , hopefully by  the summer ! I had started a new job and I quit it too ! The job I was doing was in a daycare and they didn’t want to tell me how much I would be paid or the hours I would be working! So, that was bad in itself but the way they treated the kids was worse ! I can’t be associated with that kind of nonsense ! So, a friend of mine told me about a job at a Dr.’s office and had me send her my resume (because she knows the doctor personally)so she can hand it to him herself and put in a good word ! Well tomorrow morning is the interview so please pray that this job is what I need and will not be an abusive situation like the other one! I hope that everything works out cuz, it sure hasn’t been working out lately so, I am praying that this is the one ! I also need prayers to help me keep on my fitness track and not give up anymore ! For a while there I seriously didn’t care if I gained back every pound that I had worked so hard to lose ! I don’t want to do that again ! So keep me in your prayers ! I hope everyone is doing well and you are all in my prayers ! Take care everybody ! kimmi

I really needed to post today ! As most of you know what I have been going through the last month and a half or so with my hubby losing his job and us desperately trying to find jobs ! Well today is one of my days that I am totally feeling at the end of my rope ! I still haven’t heard back from that company that my neighbor said was going to hire me and that was over two weeks ago ! So I have been back to my old comforting myself with food, and on top of that my gym membership expired and hubby doesn’t know if he wants to renew because of the possibility of moving to another state soon ! So I’m eating like crap and not exercising like I should and feel worse than ever ! I wish I had a magic pill that made feel like my old self again wanting to do what I know is right and doing it because I know I should ! This is very difficult for me to write this this time because I have gained three pounds since the start of all this mess and if I don’t stop it will be more and then I will mess up all that hard work that I put into me before ! I hate what’s happening in my life right now and seem unable to turn this whole darn thing around ! Sorry for the ramble just needed to get it out ! Kimmi

Good Morning Buddies, I just wanted to come on here and let you all know what is going on in my life right now and where I am emotionally . I have had some serious ups and downs lately ! Sometimes I feel like I am on a roller coaster ride that has malfunctioned and is on the path of total disaster ! One thing I am learning from this experience is patience . Right now we might be moving to Arkansas but , like I said we still don’t know ! We are going down there for my hubby’s interview somewhere around the around the second of March and will be looking at some housing and things like that besides the interview ! All this change kind of scares me because , a move last time brought on a serious weight gain , and moving to another state away from anyone I know is kind of scary ! I am hoping God will seriously keep his graciousness upon me because, if it is up to me I am not sure how well I will do ! I have really had no luck in my job search right now except the interview I had yesterday it might be possible but I have some total reservations .  I think for the most part I am in good spirits right at this moment despite the nonsense we have been through in the last month or two  ! My hand is doing quite well , just learning to get back to normal ! I hope everyone has a great week, and you are all doing well ! Keep the faith and keep your eyes on the prize ! Big Hugs, Kimmi