gettinfit2

Today I am writing with a mix of emotions. I am happy that I am starting my new job tomorrow, mad at myself for still not getting back in this weight loss game the way I should, scared of failure from both work and life ! I am feeling weak in the fact I know what I need to do but, I just can’t seem to follow through and feel like I am letting down all my teammates down . Then not knowing what’s going to happen when I get to Arkansas , am I going to fit in , will I find a new job when I get there ! All these things keep running through my mind and seem to be hindering my weight loss ! I feel a little better getting that out in the open ! So, I need to focus on going from 149 back down to 143 and lower ! I haven’t reached my goal of 125 yet and right now feel like it might be unobtainable ! I know it is but, right now I am full of doubt ! i just need to renew my hope somehow ! Sorry such a sad, yucky, blog ! Kimmi

I haven’t posted a blog in quite a while ! There is so much to tell you all ! I finally found my courage to grab myself up by the bootstraps and get moving again ! Maybe it was the number 149lbs. that really shocked me back into reality or maybe I should say it angered me into getting my butt moving ! I walked 3 miles with one dog and walked my subdivision with my puppy and need to walk the other dog too maybe after dinner ! Now on to the other updates ! My hubby got the job in Arkansas so we will be moving , hopefully by  the summer ! I had started a new job and I quit it too ! The job I was doing was in a daycare and they didn’t want to tell me how much I would be paid or the hours I would be working! So, that was bad in itself but the way they treated the kids was worse ! I can’t be associated with that kind of nonsense ! So, a friend of mine told me about a job at a Dr.’s office and had me send her my resume (because she knows the doctor personally)so she can hand it to him herself and put in a good word ! Well tomorrow morning is the interview so please pray that this job is what I need and will not be an abusive situation like the other one! I hope that everything works out cuz, it sure hasn’t been working out lately so, I am praying that this is the one ! I also need prayers to help me keep on my fitness track and not give up anymore ! For a while there I seriously didn’t care if I gained back every pound that I had worked so hard to lose ! I don’t want to do that again ! So keep me in your prayers ! I hope everyone is doing well and you are all in my prayers ! Take care everybody ! kimmi

I really needed to post today ! As most of you know what I have been going through the last month and a half or so with my hubby losing his job and us desperately trying to find jobs ! Well today is one of my days that I am totally feeling at the end of my rope ! I still haven’t heard back from that company that my neighbor said was going to hire me and that was over two weeks ago ! So I have been back to my old comforting myself with food, and on top of that my gym membership expired and hubby doesn’t know if he wants to renew because of the possibility of moving to another state soon ! So I’m eating like crap and not exercising like I should and feel worse than ever ! I wish I had a magic pill that made feel like my old self again wanting to do what I know is right and doing it because I know I should ! This is very difficult for me to write this this time because I have gained three pounds since the start of all this mess and if I don’t stop it will be more and then I will mess up all that hard work that I put into me before ! I hate what’s happening in my life right now and seem unable to turn this whole darn thing around ! Sorry for the ramble just needed to get it out ! Kimmi